Author: Tannisha Avarrsekar
As the Editor-in-Chief of an online news agency, I have spent a significant amount of my time interacting if not interviewing a wide range of people. As a political strategy & communications consultant I now cultivate my insights from these interactions to advise my clients on how to conduct themselves during such interviews and other public proceedings. A key part of this conduct I speak about, is body language- a subject I pay particularly keen attention to because of a lifelong interest in the study of non-verbal communication.
While body language is most often perceived as a tool to project a particular image, what most people don’t realise is how powerful this tool can be in influencing people and situations when used correctly.
I have personally found that close observation of people over an extended period of time, will be able to teach you almost everything you need to know on the subject – not to mention a productive way to entertain yourself during boring meetings – but for all those that want to save yourselves the time, here is a cheat sheet of tips on how to effectively use body language and other non-verbal communication in a negotiation.
- When people get on well, the outcome of a negotiation is more likely to be favourable. To create trust and rapport, you should mimic or mirror the behaviour of the person sitting across the table and repeat the last few words of what they say. The mirroring can also be just repeating a particular expression, or a summary of what the other person last said. Doing this proves your attentiveness to the speaker and shows acknowledgement of the other party’s views.
- Another way of establishing a relationship, is triggering a “that’s right.” The minute you are able to convince someone that you understand their thoughts and feelings is the moment a breakthrough can take place. If you are able to obtain a “that’s right” response from the person you are negotiating with by summarizing or reaffirming their thoughts and wants, even those that they might not be aware of. This helps create a subtle epiphany and establish a shared empathy.
- Make them come to you. Or in particular, your office. Not only do you get to convey your dominance through the decision, but you can also use your office to incorporate other persuasion techniques. For example, research from Columbia and Harvard has brought to light that body language associated with low power such as short chairs and contracted posture, can affect the levels of testosterone and cortisol, which are hormones that create the feeling of power. Thus, by giving whoever you are negotiating with a short and awkward chair, you can decrease their testosterone and raise their cortisol, which will in turn minimise their feeling of power, and give you the upper hand in the negotiations.
- Remember that both literally and metaphorically your negotiating power increases when the opposite party has to chase after you. One way to leverage this, especially in a public or casual setting, is by literally heading in another direction, every time you see them walking towards you. It’s a classic negotiation tactic, because the more they chase after you the more control you have over the discussion. (Fun fact: If you want to see how this is done right, watch Madam Secretary getting ducked by the French Ambassador in CBS’s hit show.)
- Humans are programmed to get uncomfortable during silences. Thus, what most of us do when the opposite person is quiet, is start talking in order to fill the silence, sometimes at the risk of letting on more than we intended to. If you want to get information out of somebody or want them to keep talking until you coax something out of them, simply stay silent while making eye contact even if they pause while speaking and watch them start talking again, and spilling details that they hadn’t before.
- Something else to bear in mind, is people’s unrestrained love to correct others! The human instinct for that emotional satisfaction is so strong and quick that people tend to correct extremely honestly, making this a great way to get the opposite party to let something slip.
Bear in mind, while using all these tactics that subtlety is paramount. Influencing others is not half as effective or easy, if your tricks are obvious.
